Apparently this years London Marathon will be the most competitive marathon of the year.
No idea who most of the people in the article are, but they sound good.
I'm not sure they're properly prepared for this pasty northerner to open up a can of whup ass on them!
Or not...
I can see the appeal of running a marathon in c. 2 hours 11. It'd mean a lot less running was necessary on the day, which is a bonus in my eyes.
The downside is the fact you'd have to run squillions of miles beforehand to get that good, so it's swings and roundabouts really...
I'll say this now, if I'm within an hour of 2 hr 11, I'll eat the unwashed vest I'd run it in!
Glamour model in self-image worry shocker
Like you, when I woke up this morning, my first thought wasn't about if I was snowed in, or the road was too icy to get to work.
In fact, it I was wondering how Jordan is feeling about getting into shape for the marathon.
Thankfully, now I know.
She's worried she'll be looking too beefy and butch because of her training.
I have only one question - what the hell kind of training is she doing?
I've already lost half a stone in a couple of weeks, and last year I was described as painfully skinny!
It's not like you should be doing weights or anything, and marathon runners aren't exactly gonna be the first ones you call when you want a piano moving!
In fact, it I was wondering how Jordan is feeling about getting into shape for the marathon.
Thankfully, now I know.
She's worried she'll be looking too beefy and butch because of her training.
I have only one question - what the hell kind of training is she doing?
I've already lost half a stone in a couple of weeks, and last year I was described as painfully skinny!
It's not like you should be doing weights or anything, and marathon runners aren't exactly gonna be the first ones you call when you want a piano moving!
Snow interruption
Complaining about how southerners deal with snow is like shooting fish in a barrel.
Shock, the roads are screwed, and no-one knows how to drive in the white stuff.
So, as this is my blog, lets make it about me.
Yesterday, I set off early to get to work, dug out the car, and began tootling off. Got all of a mile, to the bridge over the Thames by me, when I hit the first obstacle.
Someone had slowed down too much to get up the bridge, so they were just spinning and going nowhere. Now, I'm from the north, so I found it weird people were just sat in their cars watching. In my head, I can't get anywhere til he's out of the way, so pure self-interest dictates I need to get him moving.
Basic common humanity too, but I'm perfectly aware there are a lot of southerners reading this.
So, I got out of the car, walked to the back of his car and my gesture shamed a couple more guys in the queue to do the same. After a bit of swerving, we got him over, then it was the next guys turn. Same happened, though we were ready this time, and we got him over too.
Then it was my turn.
I will admit a shadow of doubt did cross my mind as I feared my time down south had numbed my northern skills.
But, with the eyes of a thousand Yorkshire ancestors watching me, I found my biting point and released the handbrake.
Treacherous - there's no other way to describe the road surface than that.
Yet, despite the weight of expectation a row of traffic, I skilfully manoeuvred the yellow Mini over the bridge using the tried-and-tested "wiggly sideways steering" technique.
I could tell everyone was impressed as no-one came over the bridge after me. I'm guessing they were in awe.
Anyway, got to the bit where I get out for the bus, and I jumped out.
Though it wasn't a proper jump, as it was pretty slippery.
After walking to the bus stop I then remembered that I'd just heard all the buses were cancelled.
Bottom.
So, I hitched up my bag, and strode manfully towards work – a mere 5 miles away.
It was weird as at several points I was tempted to break into a run.
I obviously didn't as it was several inches deep with snow and I'd just have fallen and hurt myself.
So, whilst tomorrows run might be postponed unless the ice has melted, I've at least added a bit to my weekly total already!
Shock, the roads are screwed, and no-one knows how to drive in the white stuff.
So, as this is my blog, lets make it about me.
Yesterday, I set off early to get to work, dug out the car, and began tootling off. Got all of a mile, to the bridge over the Thames by me, when I hit the first obstacle.
Someone had slowed down too much to get up the bridge, so they were just spinning and going nowhere. Now, I'm from the north, so I found it weird people were just sat in their cars watching. In my head, I can't get anywhere til he's out of the way, so pure self-interest dictates I need to get him moving.
Basic common humanity too, but I'm perfectly aware there are a lot of southerners reading this.
So, I got out of the car, walked to the back of his car and my gesture shamed a couple more guys in the queue to do the same. After a bit of swerving, we got him over, then it was the next guys turn. Same happened, though we were ready this time, and we got him over too.
Then it was my turn.
I will admit a shadow of doubt did cross my mind as I feared my time down south had numbed my northern skills.
But, with the eyes of a thousand Yorkshire ancestors watching me, I found my biting point and released the handbrake.
Treacherous - there's no other way to describe the road surface than that.
Yet, despite the weight of expectation a row of traffic, I skilfully manoeuvred the yellow Mini over the bridge using the tried-and-tested "wiggly sideways steering" technique.
I could tell everyone was impressed as no-one came over the bridge after me. I'm guessing they were in awe.
Anyway, got to the bit where I get out for the bus, and I jumped out.
Though it wasn't a proper jump, as it was pretty slippery.
After walking to the bus stop I then remembered that I'd just heard all the buses were cancelled.
Bottom.
So, I hitched up my bag, and strode manfully towards work – a mere 5 miles away.
It was weird as at several points I was tempted to break into a run.
I obviously didn't as it was several inches deep with snow and I'd just have fallen and hurt myself.
So, whilst tomorrows run might be postponed unless the ice has melted, I've at least added a bit to my weekly total already!
Marathon blog - update
Keen to grow my fave blogs, I've added a new one to my reading list - 3 Chickens and a runner.
I'm not entirely sure if he's got chickens, wants chickens, or just really likes chickens, but he seems fun, which is the important thing when you're subjecting your body to running a marathon.
I'm not entirely sure if he's got chickens, wants chickens, or just really likes chickens, but he seems fun, which is the important thing when you're subjecting your body to running a marathon.
Dead swans and eating glue
Got up way too early this morning, to get the run done.
I'd foolishly agreed to go to Ikea, and since I hate the place, I wanted to get there before it got too full of idiots who don't know how to walk in a straight line.
As it was a bit chilly, and my hair is a state, I decided to don a baseball cap. For those that don't know me, let me explain that this is strange on a couple of levels.
Unlike most of my other runs, the Sunday morning one is less like running the gauntlet as the pathless roads have little traffic. The roads with paths have little traffic too, but I don't have the luxury of many of them. I just didn't want you thinking people round here don't drive on roads on Sunday mornings unless they have paths.
I digress..
So I got plodding away nicely, and as the ground was frozen, I was able to run right next to the river, which would normally be lovely, but for the fact the wind was freezing.
After a couple of miles, the wide riverbank narrows on a bend, and you're funneled along a normally treacherous couple of hundred yards where the path is about a foot wide, and composed mainly of mud.
Confident the frosty conditions would mean it was at least solid, I decided to give it a whirl instead of jumping onto the road.
As I was approaching the narrowing part, I saw what I thought was a small pile of detrius from the river.
It wasn't.
It was the decomposing body of a swan.
Now, I don't know about you, but I've never seen that before, but I'm confident it was a swan as despite all the feathers, and most of it's flesh having gone, there was clearly a large body, long neck, and beak.
I thought about taking a pic to share with you, but I think a fair few people would have got cross with me...
Anyway, I passed the swan, and carried on along the river. After another mile or so, there's a choice - follow the road to get up to the main road, or carry on along the river and see what happens.
As you can probably tell by the end of that last bit, I normally follow the road. For some reason I was feeling a bit adventurous and plodded along the unknown road.
Now, I'd like to say I found a magical world where everyone is happy, and poverty has been relegated to the history books, but it was pretty much just the same as the other bit I'd been running along. Just the road veered off a bit later and joined the same stretch I was heading to anyway.
There was an exiting looking footpath that carried on - heading somewhere magical, no doubt - but I'll save that adventure for another day.
I may have mentioned that I hate Ikea - it was the shadow looming over my run.
I had to get back, showered etc and ready to head off by a certain time, so I'd told myself that I'd run for so long, then turn round.
I also knew I'd be out for a while, so on an impulse I'd bought a sachet of weird energy gel, to try after an hour to see if it helped.
Well, I thought I'd give it a try, and tentatively opened the foil wrapper, wondering how tropical this could possibly taste.
In it's defence, it did have a tropical flavour.
However, no amount of pineapples and mangoes could hide the fact that it had the consistency of glue.
After my initial reaction I thought it best to be a man and just see it all off, so, still running, I chugged the whole thing down, responsibly disposed of the wrapper in a bin I'd seen approaching, and nearly threw up.
Nice.
Might need a bit more practice with these things.
Anyway, after almost heaving last nights tea overs the streets of Surrey, I carried on until my self imposed turning around point, and headed for home.
The only incident on the way back was a slow-hitting stitch that was threatening most of the way, but only decided to get me with only about half a mile from home.
To spite my body, I decided to run flat out home, which was horrible, but I think I made my point - stupid body.
After warm down, and shower, I then headed off to Ikea only to realise that when I'd been assured it opened at 10, they'd actually meant "I think it's 10". So, when we rocked into the car park at 9:40 and saw it actually opened at 11, I was not a happy bunny.
At least they did the nice thing and let people in at 10, but you couldn't pay for owt for an hour.
It was like being trapped in hell.
In Scandanavia.
So I'd truncated my run (not a lot, but still annoying) for no reason other than to spend time in a large blue and yellow warehouse off the north circular.
I can see Sunday's not being my fave day.
I'd foolishly agreed to go to Ikea, and since I hate the place, I wanted to get there before it got too full of idiots who don't know how to walk in a straight line.
As it was a bit chilly, and my hair is a state, I decided to don a baseball cap. For those that don't know me, let me explain that this is strange on a couple of levels.
- I'm not sporty, and think they look ridiculous
- My head is abnormally large and hats tend not to fit me - this one doens't either, but it's the best I've been able to do.
Unlike most of my other runs, the Sunday morning one is less like running the gauntlet as the pathless roads have little traffic. The roads with paths have little traffic too, but I don't have the luxury of many of them. I just didn't want you thinking people round here don't drive on roads on Sunday mornings unless they have paths.
I digress..
So I got plodding away nicely, and as the ground was frozen, I was able to run right next to the river, which would normally be lovely, but for the fact the wind was freezing.
After a couple of miles, the wide riverbank narrows on a bend, and you're funneled along a normally treacherous couple of hundred yards where the path is about a foot wide, and composed mainly of mud.
Confident the frosty conditions would mean it was at least solid, I decided to give it a whirl instead of jumping onto the road.
As I was approaching the narrowing part, I saw what I thought was a small pile of detrius from the river.
It wasn't.
It was the decomposing body of a swan.
Now, I don't know about you, but I've never seen that before, but I'm confident it was a swan as despite all the feathers, and most of it's flesh having gone, there was clearly a large body, long neck, and beak.
I thought about taking a pic to share with you, but I think a fair few people would have got cross with me...
Anyway, I passed the swan, and carried on along the river. After another mile or so, there's a choice - follow the road to get up to the main road, or carry on along the river and see what happens.
As you can probably tell by the end of that last bit, I normally follow the road. For some reason I was feeling a bit adventurous and plodded along the unknown road.
Now, I'd like to say I found a magical world where everyone is happy, and poverty has been relegated to the history books, but it was pretty much just the same as the other bit I'd been running along. Just the road veered off a bit later and joined the same stretch I was heading to anyway.
There was an exiting looking footpath that carried on - heading somewhere magical, no doubt - but I'll save that adventure for another day.
I may have mentioned that I hate Ikea - it was the shadow looming over my run.
I had to get back, showered etc and ready to head off by a certain time, so I'd told myself that I'd run for so long, then turn round.
I also knew I'd be out for a while, so on an impulse I'd bought a sachet of weird energy gel, to try after an hour to see if it helped.
Well, I thought I'd give it a try, and tentatively opened the foil wrapper, wondering how tropical this could possibly taste.
In it's defence, it did have a tropical flavour.
However, no amount of pineapples and mangoes could hide the fact that it had the consistency of glue.
After my initial reaction I thought it best to be a man and just see it all off, so, still running, I chugged the whole thing down, responsibly disposed of the wrapper in a bin I'd seen approaching, and nearly threw up.
Nice.
Might need a bit more practice with these things.
Anyway, after almost heaving last nights tea overs the streets of Surrey, I carried on until my self imposed turning around point, and headed for home.
The only incident on the way back was a slow-hitting stitch that was threatening most of the way, but only decided to get me with only about half a mile from home.
To spite my body, I decided to run flat out home, which was horrible, but I think I made my point - stupid body.
After warm down, and shower, I then headed off to Ikea only to realise that when I'd been assured it opened at 10, they'd actually meant "I think it's 10". So, when we rocked into the car park at 9:40 and saw it actually opened at 11, I was not a happy bunny.
At least they did the nice thing and let people in at 10, but you couldn't pay for owt for an hour.
It was like being trapped in hell.
In Scandanavia.
So I'd truncated my run (not a lot, but still annoying) for no reason other than to spend time in a large blue and yellow warehouse off the north circular.
I can see Sunday's not being my fave day.
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