Getting motivated for training

Being a pain in the arse kind of bloke, no-one ever knows what to get me for my birthday.

Thankfully this usually results in lots of book vouchers and my 30th this year was no exception!

In a rare example of me trying to be helpful, I decided to make a list of books I fancied so people wouldn't complain at me. Predictably, I didn't get any of them, so, armed with vouchers I hit the bookshops.

Top of the list, and the first one I've read, was Mad, Bad and Dangerous to Know, the autobiography of Ranulph Fiennes.

I've always admired the little I've known about him - polar explorer, seven marathons in seven days on seven continents, amputating own mummified fingers in the shed - but reading more about him, and the challenges he's faced, put my own issues into perspective.

The almost humble, matter-of-fact way he writes is quite alarming at times, especially describing deaths of others attempting similar challenges. But this shows his focus and determination which helped him achieve so much.

He even has tips for endurance running - jogging for two and a half hours every other day, no more than three days apart.

Five of his seven marathons in seven days were quicker than my injured attempt in 2008.

This, from a man more than twice my age.

So, eager to make use of this fresh inspiration, I'm working away at a serious plan to get the running going properly.

Any thoughts of other adventures are being suppressed as recent form suggests I would doubtless lose several limbs at the very least.

O/T (again!) In response to Anonymous Coward

Dear Anonymous Coward,

Thanks for your thoughtful, well argued, and compelling comment on my previous post on the failures of my Halfords bike (Apollo XC26s).

Having raised the bar for debate to a level unseen since Cicero, I thought better of responding on the thread itself, and decided I'd dedicate a whole post to my rebuttal and the poor quality of my Halfords bike.*

Much as your hastily tagged on apology was obviously heartfelt, please don't take this personally.

Now, as tempted as I am to call you are a mud-dwelling spineless cretin with a predilection for comsuming excrement from the rotten bowels of your employer, I'm not going to.

Because that wouldn't be nice, and I don't have any evidence, despite the strong hints from your four word missive.

The key word there was evidence.

Now go grab one of your special crayons, and write it down (take you time with the letters though so you keep it neat) because you'll need that later.

Lets get started then.

Firstly, normally I would put poor spelling down to typos etc. (a condition I suffer from myself) and not make light of it, however, in your case I'm willing to say it's from ignorance. After a considerable amount of experimenting with my keyboard I am still unable to recreate the spelling of overeaxaggerated you used.

Secondly, 'biased' usually refers to a judgement influenced by a prejudiced perspective (still with me knubnuts?) so I can only assume you're suggesting the experience of riding a bike could cloud the judgement of it's performance - and I can see why you would.

I purposefully waited three months before reviewing it so I could reflect more honestly on its performance, having 'lived with it' for a while. This, if anything, was favorable to Halfords as it meant the horrific experience of buying the bike in the first place would be less likely to cloud my judgement.

Sadly, this also gave enough time for the weaknesses of the bike to show through. My experience has found it to be made of cheap crap, and all the bits listed before (except the front disk brake which I said I rated) have failed on at least one occasion - all while riding through traffic which is pretty scary.

As I'm typing this I've still got grease on my hands (despite two showers since) from having to reattach the rear derailleur last night as the fixings it came with are disintegrating.

If I were biased I'd actually be working for another bike company or be pushing for something in return. Neither of these are the case and, as I said, I've already turned down the offer of money from Halfords customer services (Google 'integrity' for more info).

I know working for Halfords must be disheartening - all the returns and complaints - but if you're going to offer bikes as good value, they shouldn't need money thrown at them repeatedly to keep them on the road.

But then, I suppose that would mean you weren't making any money on repairs...

If people don't believe me, fine. They're free to have a look in bike forums for other independent reviews.

I'm sure there are even some people who bought this bike and have got along with it nicely. Good for them.

I also know Halfords do actually sell some good bikes - Boardmans, some Carrera's and even Kona's. If anything that makes it worse as it raises the expectation on the lower models - expectations I don't think they can meet.

I don't profess to be an expert at anything - which I think helps - so I probably am wrong on occasion.

But if you're just going to play hit and run in the comments section as part of a PR strategy for Halfords, at least have the decency to add some evidence to your argument or I'm going to have to waste even more time writing bad things about you...

* Thus help pushing criticism further up search rankings - good work fellah!

O/T Still not happy Halfords

Running, and consequently blogging, has been light because of the slow build up for my recovery. To make up for the lack of mileage on two legs, I've been working on exercising on two-wheels.

An earlier post highlighted the joys I was having with my bike, and now, after a bit more time living with the bike, and a lot more hassle, I decided I could write a fair review for the bike on Halfords review section.

For some reason it isn't up yet...

Anyway, not wanting the few minues I spent penning this missive to be in vain, I thought I'd share it here. I know it's not running related, but it's my blog and I make the rules!

If the old adage 'you get what you pay for' is true, then a steaming bag of manure must cost in the region of £179.99 (the price I paid for this in June*).

Ignoring the fact the guys in the shop failed to correctly assemble the thing (who needs handlebars that actually turn the front wheel anyway, right?) and the ensuing near death experiences on the first ride of it, I thought I'd give it a bit of time before I reviewed this, so I wasn't too tainted by the initial shocking experience of buying the thing.

A few months later, I'm now considerably more experienced in keeping a bike on the road (and only the road as I'm terrified of what will happen if I actually tried to go off-road on this).

Lets start from the bottom, as it were.

The alloy used for the wheels seems to be the same substance used to make Wham Bars - seemingly hard, but easily bent. I now spend about an hour after every other ride truing wheels.

My rear cassette has less teeth left than my nan as, to quote the guy in the independent bike shop, "that's some of the cheapest metal I've ever seen". This makes quick acceleration but a dream unless you enjoy avoiding cars when setting off at traffic lights accompanied by the soundtrack of a grinding chain getting no traction.

This also adds a nice element of Russian roulette as you've never quite sure how far from home you'll be when the chain snaps - five miles is my average walk.

The guard on the chainset disintegrated when the chain jumped off going over a grate (and not a big one) at all of 10mph. The resulting debris made for further traffic fun as it jammed in the cogs making rotation impossible - just what you want when crossing a busy roundabout.

Now Shimano don't really make anything that's bad, and the Tourney gears are acceptable, but the guys in the shop decided I wouldn't need the full 21 when they set it up. Thankfully, I managed to get them set up myself thanks to the helpful instructions of the guys at Bikemagic.

The 50mm front shocks are about as much use over slight bumps as a potato - I hadn't expect much from such a small amount of travel, but it failed to meet even my low expectations.

The gripshifts started out doing fine - once you get the gears set up right - but the cheap materials again shine through as after only a dozen or so rides the rubber was peeling away from the plastic.

The front disk brake is the best thing on this bike - only a little bit of tweaking to the levers needed and you've got more than adequate stopping ability - if only you could build up enough speed to really test them.

In summary, if you're looking for a reasonably priced, reliable, no-nonsense hardtail, look elsewhere.

If you like being ripped off, want to walk more than you expected, don't enjoy the company of your family and want to learn how to keep a bike on the road this is the one for you!

My previous post helped elicit a response from customer services - they even offered me £20 voucher, which I declined to take on the grounds that:

1. It could affect my impartiality;
2. It would mean I'd have to go back into a Halfords store to spend it; and
   
3. I'd have to buy something from Halfords.

I don't want anything from them. I understand that after three months a refund is unlikely so I'm purely wanting to warn others to learn from my mistakes. For the same money I could have gone to a local independent bike shop and got something more reliable, and with better service.

* They're now trying to charge £279.99 - at least Dick Turpin wore a mask!

Halfords Bikes - because life is over-rated

It's now been three weeks of cycling the 22-mile round trip to and from work as a way of keeping the fitness up whilst my knee recovers, ready for my third attempt at trying to run the London Marathon next April.

It's been a mixed experience as there have been several, shall we say 'issues', with the bike.

As I'd not ridden in a long time, and didn't know whether I'd just get bored and give up on the whole thing, I wasn't prepared to fork out more than £200. I just wanted something cheap, but good enough to get me from home to work, with the potential for some light off-roading on weekends.

I am painfully aware of my limited knowledge of bikes and so I thought I'd play it safe by heading to one of the biggest bike-sellers in the country, Halfords.

The logic I used was that:

1. a big chain will have more choice of cheaper stuff for me to try
   
2. they'll give it a safety check etc first
3. its the only place that sells bike close to work
   

So, three weeks ago, after several exploratory visits and research online, I bought my first bike in 12 years from Halfords' Hounslow store.

It was one of the worst shopping experiences of my life.

Having taken an early lunch to get there well before 12 so I could collect it by the end of the day, it was frustrating that it took me 20 minutes of proactive hunting to actually find someone in the bike section who I could spend my £180 with. "Recession? F**k that, we don't need your money!"

Once I'd parted with my money I was assured it would be ready to collect by 4pm that day.

As I had a work commitment that went on longer than expected I couldn't actually get there until 5pm, and when I did I was then told they'd made the wrong bike ("Are you sure you're not a foot taller than you look?") so would have to wait 20 minutes while they put it together.

Half an hour passed, and it still wasn't ready. Another 20 minutes and the bike was at last built. So, having added a lock and helmet to my purchase, I was ready to go.

Unfortunately, I then had to deal with the security guard who insisted on making sure that, despite having been in the store for around an hour and a half all day, I'd actually bought the bike I had just been given, and was now pushing out of the store.

For some reason it took him a couple of minutes to establish that the bike on the receipt was the same model as that I was pushing (I would have thought the big sticker on the frame with the model number on would have been a good clue, but apparently not).

Once it was established I wasn't the least subtle bike thief in the world, he then noticed I had two other items on the receipt and wanted to check them - despite having the helmet on my head, and the lock in my bag!

I asked why, and he just grunted inaubdibly at me.

Another couple of minutes passed while he established beyond all reasonable doubt that the helmet was the same make as the one on my head ("look at the f***ing name on the front you t**t" I inwardly screamed), and the lock was the right length as the one on the receipt (I wouldn't have been surprised if he'd got a tape measure) before I was at last free.

I imagine it must be dull being a security guard at Halfords, but still, there's no reason to act like a tit just because you can.

Relieved to have got that over with, I then I tentatively got on the bike and began pedalling off.

Now, I hadn't been ridden a bike in some time, but I'm damn sure that the first time you turn the handlebars, the front wheel shouldn't keept pointing straight ahead.

Braking heavily to avoid ploughing into traffic as I left the car park (which is harder when your arms are pointing to the side), I soon discovered that the bolts attaching the handlebars weren't just a bit loose, they'd never been tightened.

Eager to get home at some point that night, and reluctant to spend any more time in that store, I tightened them as best I could by hand, and set off again.

This time they turned, which was a relief.

What was now annoying me was my inability to use all three of the cogs on the chainring, or three on the freewheel. The combined effect of this meant my supposedly 21 speed bike only had 8 gears to choose from, and those which I could were for what I can only assume is an attempt to cycle up Kilamanjaro.

This left my pedalling like mad, and seemingly going nowhere - always a good look!

Also, the front wheel was making a scraping noise where the brake disk was touching the rim. After investigating this at home, it turns out this was simply down to the front wheel being not being attached properly.

Always good to find out that kind of information after cycling 11 miles through heavy Friday night traffic.

Most of these problems are now rectified thanks to the interweb and trial and error in my garage, but it does make me question whether they use trained chimps to put these together, and what exactly the safety check was looking for.

"Do we check the handlebars and wheels are attached?"

"Nah, we're keeping an eye out for sharks hiding under the seat. Oh, and make sure poison darts don't fly out of the brakes!"

I had hoped that this was an isolated bad experience, but I soon realised it wasn't when I accompanied a friend to buy their first bike in some time the next day from Halfords' Brooklands store.

To cut another long story short, this one came with an 'out-of true' (ie, not round) front wheel (hadn't even been on the road when we realised that the scraping noise from the brakes wasn't just them "breaking in") and the accessory pack (pump, bottle, lock, tool thing, etc) was made of cheap crap plastic - the pump holder broke by bending past it to get a drink, and lock holder broke with the little jiggle you do to make sure the lock was secure.

Frankly, I think we could have paid someone to beat us up in the street for the £340 we spent there and feel less like we'd been mugged.

I have been in touch with Halfords to express my 'disappointment' (had to wait a week so I could be sure I wou'dn't swear!), but despite the promise to get back to me within five days, they've now had 11 and I've not heard a thing.

Lessons from this?

For the love of god, don't get a bike from Halfords unless death by poor craftsmanship is something that appeals to you.
If you do get one and don't want to die, you need to learn how to get it roadworthy yourself. This is pretty fun actually as usually involves getting oil and grease on you and feels quite manly.

Cover your tracks

Now we all know it's only a matter of time before machines rise up and overthrow the human race in an orgy of blood-spilling and pain the likes of which humanity has never seen before.

Optimists seem to think we'll at least be kept alive as either slaves or fuel, but I'm not convinced by their arguments.

With technology pushing the ever expanding horizons of the possible further towards the limits of our imagination, it's probably only a matter of time before someone drops the ball, and the machines kick off.

In the meantime, technology is bloody useful, so we might as well take advantage of it before we meet a painful death.

Missing out on running this years London Marathon because of injury a couple of weeks before was a bit of a blow.

But, thanks to this blog and Twitter, there were a fair few people I 'met' online who I wanted to support, so I tried to find the best way of tracking them on race day and ended up trying to use the official Adidas tracker.

This didn't work brilliantly (one of the alert texts I got said someone was only halfway - two hours after he'd finished!

To my childlike and possibly naive mind, it shouldn't be so hard to track runs – especially with more and more phones having GPS built in, so, ever determined to use the interweb for exciting things, I decided to see what else I could find.

I've got a BlackBerry Storm (good fun, but turns out the screens not a fan of being dropped onto very hard surfaces) so I had a jolly fun time looking for exciting mapping applications that could meet my geeky needs.

And by Odin's beard did I find a few!

So, to pass the time I've been road-testing them, and my fave thus far is GPSed. When I say road-testing, I don't mean by actually running – my knees still screwed.

So, with probably more glee than necessary, I've been 'running tracks' for exciting things like, the trip to work (image below), a walk around the park, train journeys, and even around Ikea.


A track, is basically anything you want to track yourself. You tell GPSed to start, and it locates satellites (most I've had were 11!) to triangulate your position with freakish accuracy.

As you're running it shows you where you are, what direction you're going in, and how fast. When you're done, click stop and it saves all the info for you which you can upload to their site to look at properly later.

Apparently you can upload it to other things too, but I don't have anything else to upload to so haven't had the chance to try it.

It's been quite fun working out which mornings I get to work quickest and how fast I trudge around the park.

There have been a few glitches though – the train journey passes through a signal black hole so I got a freakishly straight line for part of one track. That has implications for the speed figure calculated, but as it was only for a short space of time, I don't think it was significant.

And I was on a train, so I probably don't really need to know how fast I was going.

Overall, I've bene finding it good fun, I just need to be able to try it running. No doubt I'll then find numerous faults, and once again berate myself for being crap at reviewing things.

Now, I'm sure it's only a matter of time before someone, or something, uses the technology for evil, but until the machines rise up and become our overlords (and I for one welcome them) I hope a few of you agree that this is one of the potential useful things we can enjoy before our painful and untimely deaths.

Painfully slow progress

My mission to run the London Marathon in 2010 (aka operation dancing badger) is stumbling along.

Stumbling, because it's mainly nibbling around the edges of the need to train for a marathon as my knee's still not up to much.

I've been spending most of my time either fiddling with this blog (I'm quietly very proud I managed to edit the html to get three-columns!*) or researching what I should be doing to make sure I make it around this time.

A brilliant book that's been helping me understand more about training and marathon running has been Pete Pfitzinger and Scott Douglas's Advanced Marathoning.

Most people seem to buy it for the schedules at the back (there are 12 , 18 and 24 week plans in there for those prepared to go up to 55, 70 or even more than 70 miles a week), but, as I've got a bit of free time at the mo (physio exercises aren't as time consuming as a run) I've been absorbing as much as I can from the theory behind marathon training.

If, like me, you had to withdraw ill or injured from the London marathon so you have a guaranteed place next year, I strongly recommend giving it a look.

The second chapter on the elements of training is a great eye opener and helps understand why just building up the miles and constantly running at the same pace isn't going to give you the boost you'd like.

It breaks down the characteristics of successful marathoners, and explains how different types of training can improve the ones you can do something about.

On the downside, there is that word "advanced". The book does assume you're already a regular runner - not necessarily a marathoner though - which given the title isn't exactly a rash assumption.

Saying that, I've had two successive winters of training for London, and this has really helped me understand why they haven't worked.

So, thinking ahead to 2010, I can now either:

1. build up training over the summer/autumn so I'm sufficiently prepared for one of their specific schedules for the London Marathon; or
2. use the info to put together my own

As I've not got a lot else to do at the moment, I like to think I'll do the latter. But, I am painfully aware of how I can get distracted and confused, so I fully expect that to go out the window when I realise I haven't done anything like enough research/planning, so I'll just end up grabbing one of theirs to save the effort!

* UPDATE - turns out I'd screwed that up so had to revert to normal. Must properly learn some basic html at some point...
** UPDATE II - may have worked it out. Though possibly not. If you see everything ok with three columns, congrats, if not, my bad!

Blogging kit

After my post about the appearance of the blog I thought it'd be an idea to introduce you to some of the kit I'm using to run this puppy.

First off, what am I writing this on?

Some of you might think that, being northern, I'm probably etching this onto a cave wall. Or, possible smearing my faeces onto leaves with a stick.

Oh how wrong you are!

And slightly racist.

Last time round I was using a HP tower that made so little impression on me I can't be bothered to check it's model name. Sadly, that passed away during the summer, after a popular mp3 player tried to kill me (battery went mad and blew the motherboard).

Some might say that that's a common reaction to knowing me, but I think that it should be limited to species capable of using cutlery.

So, I thought I'd be computerless for a while until I got a few quid for my birthday. One of the advantages of being this age (other than being young enough to listen to Xfm, but old enough to tut at "kids these days") is that no-one can think of what to buy you so you get cash instead.

With this I treated myself to an Acer Aspire One (Linpus edition) from Tesco (though paid more than in that link - bugger!).

It's pretty funky looking, tiny and does the basics - comes with FireFox and OpenOffice and I added Skype and the Gimp easily enough.

Only got 8Gb memory, but I'm not planning on using it for loads, and it takes a range of memory so can stick in another 8Gb or more easily enough.

Ideally I'll be using it to add pics from runs etc, but I've been using the Sony Ericsson w910i and it's fallen out with all computers for some reason, and the operating system has crashed a few times meaning I've lost loads of stuff from there.

That means I need to work out another way of getting pics on here. The Kodak Z650 I use is a bit too hefty to be lugged about on runs, so need some thought about how to resolve this.

I'm guessing it'll involve finding the funny adapting thingy for the memory card in my phone, but that will prob require looking for it, which is a pretty big ask for someone as lazy as me.

Though, thinking about it, that could be a way of changing the music I've had stuck on the phone for ages to have a bit more variety to the tracks I've been running to!

Cool, so not only is this blog a way of sharing my experience, it's a way for me to have arguments with myself that can resolve several issues I hadn't put under the same umbrella.

I don't actually have an umbrella, it's just a saying.

Don't get hung up on it.

I do not endorse running with an umbrella.

Unless, you want to.