Why do I do this?

“Hello, is that Phil's brain?”

“Yes”

“It's your body here – I just wanted to say that I hate you, and what you're doing to me with this stupid idea of yours to run the marathon. You know from last time that I don't like it, so to discourage you, I'm going to cause you a world of discomfort and pain.”

“Oh.”

This is a word-for-word transcription of the conversation that went on with when I woke up this morning* and, sure enough, my body is sticking to its promise.

My right ankle hurts, my right knee hurts, all the muscles in my legs hurt, and even my toenails hurt.

I meant to put my knee strap on to help alleviate the pain, but like the idiot I am, I forgot.

I suspect some of the aches may be down to the fact my usual post-run regime was hampered last night. I warmed down alright, but I “like”** to also add to my suffering by taking the first minute of my shower at arctic temperatures.

It's something I know cricketers do, so I gave it a try a while back, and it seemed to ease the aching the next day.

Unfortunately, yesterday I had the unheard of problem of being unable to get the water sufficiently cold. To compensate I tried for a bit longer at “lukewarm”, but as the aching in my legs will attest, it doesn't work quite so well.

So today will mainly be spent walking oddly, and cursing my feeble body.

Another high self esteem day for Phil.

*expletives removed.
** Please take with strong dose of irony four or five times a week.