I'm not fat, it's just big bones!

I knew having a trainer helping me run the London Marathon wouldn't exactly be fun, but there's motivational, and borderline mean.

After diligently filling in a few forms about where I am now and promptly sending them off it was dispiriting to see that the opening of the email response from my trainer Sally included the phrase:

“Not really overweight either”

There's nice!

I'm about 11 stone 6lb. I say 'about' as my electric scales died in an incident known in Phil Runs London Towers as 'too much water-gate'.

As I'm only about 5'7” my BMI says I'm borderline obese.

Understandably, I was somewhat miffed when I found that out, but I've been reassured by numerous medical practitioners I'm not.

Being from good Yorkshire mining stock I'm just well built.

When I ran the London marathon in 2008 I lost 2 inches from my chest over 10 weeks of running – which was expensive as I had to get my usher's suit for a wedding refitted quite a lot.

This doesn't necessarily translate well for running – ideally I'd be light and lithe (Gimli wasn't the best runner in LoTR was he?) .

I'm sure Sally's making a valid point, but there's nicer ways to do - last night she proposed that since I'm not able to run at the mo I should try to lose any 'spare lard' now as it'd be better than during proper training.

Don't sugarcoat it will you Sal?

So, it'll only be salad and seeds for me for a while – not the best comfort food when I'm recuperating.

Hang on a mo!

This is exactly what she wants me to do anyway - so, her meanness has worked.

It's almost like she knew what I needed to hear to prompt me to act.

That's either very clever, or - more likely - witchcraft.

Anyone know where I can find some trinkets to ward off evil spirits?